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Surrender To Self-Love Before You Enter New Relationships

Woman with hand on heart, eyes closed & faintly smiling.

Self-love is the practice of valuing and caring for oneself emotionally and physically. It means taking the time to prioritise your own needs and wants and setting boundaries to protect yourself from negative influences. One of the most important things you can do for yourself and your children is to practice self-love.

This may mean saying no to social invitations or activities that drain your energy—or setting aside time each day for self-care. Practising self-love is essential for building solid relationships with oneself and others.

When you love and care for yourself, you can set a positive example for your children, showing them that self-love is essential and healthy. Additionally, a mother who can love herself is better equipped to be emotionally available for her children, providing them with the support and guidance they need.

Why Self-love for Single Mums?

Single motherhood can be a lonely and isolating experience, but practising self-love through self-care can help to alleviate those feelings. In addition, it is vital to take the time to focus on oneself and to engage in activities that bring joy and fulfilment. This might include spending time with friends and family, pursuing hobbies or interests, or taking a yoga class or other form of exercise.

Sonia Bestulic from Flourishing Ladies (https://www.flourishingladies.com) and author of Flourish for Mums: 21 ways to thrive with self-care and acceptance” talks of finding moments of bliss in everyday tasks like washing the dishes. As crazy as this sounds, popping headphones on and tuning out for the washing-up can give you a few moments of sanity. Even boost your mood, especially if you throw in a couple of dance moves. Who cares? There’s no one watching!

There are many opportunities to give back to ourselves if only we look for them.

Self-care is not about pampering oneself or indulging in luxuries. It is about taking care of oneself and valuing oneself as a person. As single mothers, we often wear many hats and juggle multiple responsibilities. We must remember that we are not just mothers in everything we do. We are also individuals who deserve love and respect.

The Self-love Gift.

We nurture those we love with compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Yet we struggle to extend this gift to ourselves. We judge ourselves as unworthy and unimportant by prioritising all above ourselves. Yet, the airline safety briefing we hear every time we fly stipulates, “Don our mask before assisting others”. Putting ourselves first is not selfish; it is a necessity. What good will we be or do as exhausted, nervous wrecks?!

Gratitude journaling has immense value; it is the art of giving thanks. It allows us to tap into the mindset of abundance. This is a great practice; however, we tend to focus mainly on external factors. Therefore, we extend the practice to include internal factors in the Single Mama Way house. That is, all the amazing things about us (I do this with my daughter daily).

Too often, we list all the things wrong with us, our shortcomings, but what about the things we get right? For example, not losing our temper that time you almost did (patience). Or putting yet another nourishing meal on the table (resourcefulness). Or even getting dressed and washed this morning (organisation). These might seem trivial, but we would note and appreciate them in our friends and children, so why not extend the praise to yourself?

Looking for and noting your fabulousness of you is a powerful tool in your self-care practice, one which skyrockets your self-worth and love. A self-appreciation & gratitude journal, free for all Single Mama Way members, makes this task a breeze.

You are Worth It.

Self-love also helps you be more selective in your relationships, including your relationships with your children’s father or other partners. When you love yourself, you are less likely to accept mistreatment or disrespect from others. You are more likely to seek healthy, loving relationships because you know you are worth it.

Life may not have turned out to this point as you wanted, but it doesn’t mean it can not get there. Invest in self-care, cultivate a loving relationship with yourself first and use this as a foundation for building strong relationships in the future.

And as always, if you need a guide, book your initial complimentary counselling consult with me to see how I can help you get there.


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